Reiki, Yoga, Chi Gong, are all practices grounded in cultural interpretations of energy—the realm of human health that is for the most part, unseen to the naked eye. While Western mainstream medicine is based on illness are organ or body malfunction, Western medicine does not speak to the causes of this malfunction–except for viruses and bacteria that originate from outside the body and impact the body.
In all the Eastern energy traditions, sickness comes from emotions stored in the body, over time. All these health practices aim to help the body release these emotions, to further health. How can you tell when you are storing versus when you are releasing? Release leaves a sense of openness and relief in the body (sometimes not immediately)—it can look may different ways: crying, farting, screaming, it’s all allowed. elease, is essential to health. Often, the symptoms of release, are judged in Western traditions as weird, crazy, weak…. So we’ve been teaching ourselves to hold back, instead of letting go. Here are some practices of release, that have been important to my healing in the past week, and of course, past years.
Breathe. Breathing deeply. My breathing has been shallow ever since I was a little girl, likely, since the trauma. Children, as long as we are free from trauma are in tune with our bodies. That’s why children have so much energy: they take mini breaks when they are tired and don’t need the long breaks grown-ups do, because we forget our bodies until exhaustion accumulates. As I heal, my mind, and my body, I am able to breathe deeper. Often, I need support of body workers to breathe deeply: EMDR therapist, osteopath, acupuncturist, or reiki practitioner, because I have deep fears connected to breathing and feeling my body fully. In the past week, with the ramping up of my healing, I’m able to breathe deeper, feeling breath travel down to the very bottom of my body, instead of being stuck at the top. When my energy is unstuck, I can feel energy flow down to my tailbone—it feels as if oxygen is reaching all the way.
Feel. The EMDR is getting the energy of past memories unstuck. In freeing up that energy, inevitably, I feel some of the pain of the past, too. The energy was frozen by the overwhelm of the trauma to my system, a fear to feel. Luckily, I don’t have to feel all the past pain, but have to be willing to feel some of it. Lots of different pains have surfaced. There’s the pain to parts of my body that were directly harmed and the pain to parts of my body that tensed up to avoid the pain elsewhere. There’s probably more, given the aches of the past week. As I mentioned in my prior post, my job is to just feel the feels, and release the story around these feelings: just let them be what they are. Tears my roll down my cheeks. I let them flow, without story, as strong or as soft as they want to flow.
Sleep. I’m thankful that release for me comes with the flow of sleep. When we sleep, our bodies can reset, restore, and reestablish its own balance without our brains hindering with interpretation or by “forcing” ourselves to “do” more. I’ve slept up to 12 hours a night this week. For some, sleep is not easy in the phase of release. When we are releasing pain, the more sleep, the better.
Connect. Pain shifts my perspective with life, it sharpens my senses but makes me feel more distant as well. I nurture myself by practicing a heightened sense of presence. I try to connect with my food more, tasting my food slowly, lemon, tomatoes, bread—let it swirl in my mouth fully feel it. Connect with my loved ones, breathe into my heart, feel the love I have for them, the vulnerability of my heart, how important they are for me. Connect with life through the things I love, its restorative elements: the breeze of the wind on my cheek, the heat of the fire on my ankle, the moisture of the soil on my fingers, raindrops on my nose, snow on frozen hands. It’s all life.
The more I do these things, the more I feel alive, the more my soul settles in my body. There have been times that I was scared to stay in my body, to feel, to be alive. The more I release, the safer I feel to be, exactly where I am, how I am, who I am.